With all of the majesty of a violent explosion, the pure force of a million stampeding rhinos and the raw sexual potency of Tom Selleck – in his Magnum PI prime – Chainsaws embody what America has been for years: Sleek, cool exterior, throbbing, aggressive power, and millions of blades tearing the shit out of anything that they come near. Just looking at this header image, I might be getting a little aroused. But it’s more of a fear-boner than anything else. Chainsaws are hundreds of gnawing, chomping, hungry teeth welded to a steel chain, spun by a 4 horse-power engine. Have you ever seen a horse? Have you ever ridden a fucking horse? The power that generates through it’s massive muscles? 4 of those beasts live inside the metal casing of every saw, producing a maelstrom of energy that spins those teeth into a tornado of ripping and tearing that will turn anything in front of them into tiny particles. Oh Jesus…. I’m out of breathe… wow.
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