Ahh, remember 5th grade when you liked a girl, but you didn't know if she liked you back? So, you had to get close to her, begin talking to her, chatting her up as you might say nowadays, talking about all the Pokemon you're totally gonna catch (it was, inevitably, 'them all') and then you had to manage to sneak a look at the mood ring on her ring finger (which all 5th grade girls wore) to see if it was the 'color of love' but it was always some shade of grayish-blue? And then you went to look at that color chart on the mood-ring display in the 7-11 that listed what all the colors mean, and then they didn't have one for dark-blue and you suddenly realized that mood rings were total bullshit, and that you could tell a lot more about how she felt about you by the way she tried to find reasons to leave the conversation constantly, then began talking about how your obsession with looking at her ring finger was 'creepy' then she ran away from you after kicking you in the fucking stomach like the bitch Lisa Singer always was and probably still is!!!... wait, what are we talking about? Mood-Based Color Changing Nail Polish? Well, yeah. Now you can have all those formative 5th grade experiences without having to look at her ring finger. Now you have to constantly check out her nails like a 40-year-old fashion hag who is awkwardly obsessed with colored nail-polish.That sure won't cause anyone to make fun of you in grade school. Wow, Okay, this one hit really close to home, so it's pretty geared toward my male readers. However, for you girls who might consider wearing this shit, the mood-based color-changing nail-polish already comes in a variety of colors... If it was really based on your mood, wouldn't it only come in one color and change, ya know, based on your mood? Just like the rings, these mood-testers are bullshit.
RATING: (Fills Me With:) 61% Annoyed Ambivalence
(+ 30% Traumatic Childhood Memories... Fuck you Lisa... Fuck you so hard.)
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